Still mysterious



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I caught your eyes.

Your eyes caught mine.

Only our eyes were talking.

A stranger to me were you

but also a long missed friend,

a friend not from my past,

not from my present

but maybe one from my future.

Only our eyes were talking.

You seemed reserved.

I seemed not much different.

It took a while until we finally changed words.

I felt warmness.

You didn’t feel much different.

You were this mysterious stranger to me.

Mysterious but somehow familiar.

I felt close to you

but I didn’t know anything about you.

I had no chance to find out more

because I had to leave you too soon.

I promised to see you again at breakfast

but I did not appear.

Life had other plans with me.

You are still the same mysterious man

like in the beginning before we changed words

and only our eyes were talking.

But one day I will solve your mystery.

See you in the future mysterious friend,

maybe again at summer time,

maybe again at the place

where your eyes caught mine.



Love and expectations


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Saturday night in a club.

A random woman in the ladies room told me that:

“Saying ‘I love you!’ to your partner in a relationship is a selfish thing to do.”


If A tells B “I love you”,

A expects to be loved back.

That expectation is selfish.



Maybe one day


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What a disturbed world!


Again and again.

Déjà-vus never really stop!

It’s a dark world!

Tomorrow is a new day and we realize that after all,

life goes on and will always go on,

no matter what’s happening.

After all, we are still here,

here to survive and fight for a better world.

A better world…maybe one day.




My name is…


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“Can I also pay with my bank card?”

“Yes”, said the cashier “but only if it’s really your card! May I see your personal ID?”

“Sure, you may because it’s my bank card but I look old on it. Not a big fan of biometric photos.”

“You look indeed old”, she said and added immediately “but only on this photo. I must say I like your name. It’s beautiful. I like Turkish names.”

I was surprised and answered “Oh, thank you! Normally people don’t get that I have Turkish roots. By hearing my name they either guess that it’s Persian or Arabic.”

“But your last name is definetely Turkish. I can see that.”

“Wow, that’s interesting because my last name is not very common but yeah, thank you very much! Have a nice evening!”

“You, too! Have a nice evening, too!”, smiled the cashier woman when I left the grocery store.

Yes, I like my name. I am happy that my parents have chosen that name for me. I really do like my name. Not everyone is happy about their chosen names but I am. And I don’t know any other person with my name. I am the only one I know in person.

My name is Nesrin. It’s Turkish but it also exists in the Arabic and Persian world. but it’s written differently then. The Arabic version is Nesrine with an e in the end. The Persian version is Nasrin with an a as a second letter instead of an e.

I think my parents did not know the meaning of my name. I was curious why they called me Nesrin. My mom told me once “Because it’s short, easily pronounced and beautiful.”

A name with only six letters is short and it should normally not be difficult to be pronounced but I keep meeting people who struggle with the right pronunciation of my name. Most of the time I tell people they can call me Nessie or Nes instead and they are relieved to have that choice. So I suppose only a few people know me by my real name because the others cannot pronounce it.

I did not know the meaning of my name until I googled it one day.

Nesrin (also spelled Nasreen, or Nes-reen, Persian,: نسرین , Nasrīn) is a Turkish feminine given name of Persian origin meaning “wild rose”. It is among the most popular names given to baby girls born in Azerbaijan, in 2007. And this a very common Turkish name. In Turkey Nesrin name ranks 203rd among the most common names.
Wild rose. A rose can protect herself by her thorns. So do I. Wild rose. I am a wild rose.
Nesrin, the wild rose.

Where do you see yourself?


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Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Where do you see yourself in 2 years?
Where do you see yourself in 1 year?
Where do you see yourself in one month?
Where do you see yourself in one week?
Where do you see yourself tomorrow?
Where do you see yourself in one hour?
Where do you see yourself in 10 minutes?
Where do you see yourself now?
Where did you see yourself just a few seconds ago?
Where did you see yourself 10 minutes ago?
Where did you see yourself one hour ago?
Where did you see yourself yesterday?
Where did you see yourself one week ago?
Where did you see yourself one month ago?
Where did you see yourself 1 year ago?
Where did you see yourself 2 years ago?
Where did you see yourself 5 years ago?
Where did you see yourself 10 years ago?

It never felt that difficult


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Our bodies lay next to eachother without a single touch.

I don’t need to lay.

I can sit.

I can stand up.

I can just leave.

I am afraid that I cannot resist.

My body is located in an unknown territory.

I want to move but I cannot.

The smell of his body.

We are strangers but in the same time we are not.

It’s a contradiction.

How can I lay next to this anonymous body

and not be afraid of getting hurt?

But there is something about his smell,

his look,

which makes me want

to stay and explore the unknown.

There is an unusual intimacy

which fills up the room.

My body is somehow excited

about this moment

but in a weird way

it cannot react.

It never felt that difficult.